If you're not  familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous erudite  scientist who once said:

"I woke up one morning, and all of  my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

His  mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement, and amusement.
Here are some of his  gems:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace  Prize. ;
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't  expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below  average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad  name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the  spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other  parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the  sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got  to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in  psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the  worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 -  I almost had a psychic girlfriend,...but she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 -  How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger  without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way,  you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not  having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the  future, laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live  forever....so far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do  you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels  don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get  scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't  repair your brakes, so I made your horn  louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your  name?
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got  tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get  until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is  proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 -  To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is  that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the  more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray  table, the more of your body is required to be on  it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have  film.
And my all time favorite-
34 - If your  car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Index |
Flight to Perth | Day 1 at Perth | Day 2 at Perth | Day 3 to Margaret River| Day 4 to Albany |Day 5 at Albany | Day 6 to Esperance | Day 7 to Kalgoorlie | Day 8 to Madura | Day 9 to Ceduna | Day 9 to Ceduna | Day 10 to Port Augusta | Day 11 to Murray River | Day 12 - Murray River | Day 13 to Adelaide | Day 14 at Adelaide | Day 15 to Goolwa | Day 16 at Goolwa | Day 17 to Warrnambool | Day 18 to Melbourne | Day 19 at Melbourne | Flight to NZ |